you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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