Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
