i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
