Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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