I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
