It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
