Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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