I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
