Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My ass is underappreciated
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
