I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
