Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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