come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
