don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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