I hope mine doesn't look like that
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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