Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
