Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am mentally ready for anal.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
