Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
