Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
