if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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