You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
