No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
