so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
