It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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