I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
