you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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