you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
