Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
