Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
