On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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