it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
