Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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