I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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