i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
