i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
