Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
