my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
