Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
