her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
