but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
