I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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