So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
