I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
