just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
