there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
