FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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