:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
