i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
