Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
