Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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