i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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