For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
