hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
