I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
